I hate cookies.

UGH. I recently decided to cut down on my sugar intake. as I was driving to work, I got a phone call. this question was asked: "what are you doing?" and what was I doing? chowing down on CHOCOLATE CHIIPS. IN MY CAR. seriously addicted to sugar! ouch!! so out the door. refined sugar gets the boot.

agave nectar is my new schteez.
now you should pose this question: "yes, Lauren, but how does one replace dry sugar with liquid sweetener?"
and I will answer in this fashion: "well, dear listener, for every 1 cup of sugar replaced, use 3/4 c of agave. also buy Babycakes by Erin McKenna, owner of Babycakes NYC (vegan, mostly sugar free, mostly gluten free, kosher, blah blah blah)."
This replacement can be tricky though, because you should then lower the other liquid content in the recipe (like the milk-ish liquid) by 1/4 c, but do not lower the oil. this is why i hate cookies. without sugar to make it crunchy, it becomes a cakey sponge. a delicious sponge, but a sponge nonetheless. and thats not what you want to eat when you have the urge for cookies!!
so i have no solutions for you. im stuck. if you can help me, please do.
end.

no sugar? whaaat?

Hey kids,
it's been awhile. mostly because i have been working 7 days a week for 3 and 1/2 months. why, you ask? because this is what one does to oneself when one decides to become a pastry chef. becoming a pastry chef with no experience is, while gratifying, exhausting and does not pay well. so guess who gets to have two jobs?
I am learning so much though! it's like being in pastry school, only I actually get paid to have other people eat my pastries. fun!
But at home, I am still baking. in my spare moments. and because i try to avoid eating whatever it is that i make, i bake for other vegans. Lately, i've been on a mad kick with Erin McKenna's babycakes book, which is vegan, mostly gluten free, and mostly sugar free. they are fun recipes to mess around with, because the dry-liquid ratios are already so foreign that messing with Erin's perfect formula seems completely demented and uncalled for, but..i cant help it.
The following recipe i have made, i dont know, several thousand times for a certain health-nut vegan. we call them fauxns (pronounced 'fone', as in fake-scone):

2c whole spelt flour (note: this is NOT gluten free!)
1 tbsp baking powder
1tsp salt
1/3 c coconut oil, plus more for brushing (Erin measures all of the liquids in dry measuring cups, what a maniac!)
1/3 c agave nectar, plus more for brushing
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1/4 c hot water
1 c fresh berries (the favorite around here is blueberry, but i've made blackberry, rasberry, and apple cinnamon)
cinnamon for sprinkling

mix drys, mix in liquids until a thick, almost dry dough is formed and all the liquids are incorporated. add the hot water, and stir just until incorporated, then fold in the berries until marbled. scoop about 1/4 c batter onto sheet lined with parchment paper, brush with coconut oil and sprinkle with cinnamon. bake at 350 degrees for 7 mins, then rotate the sheet 180 degrees, and bake for another 7 minutes. they should be slightly browned and firm. once out of the oven, brush with agave, and let rest on sheet for 20 mins, then move to drying rack.
the word is, eat them 'toasted, with tea.'

MACARONS! (with one "O")

Okay so how cool is this:  my new job sent me to Love Apple Farms in Santa Cruz on Saturday to take a class on French macarons! No, no, not the coconut kind that Jews eat because they're kosher and flourless. The French kind silly!

I had heard rumors that these are a little tricky to make, but absolutely unbelievable. Good ones are hard to find around here (since this isn't, you know, Europe). But Chez Pim has taught me well, and look! Success! --->

Good recipes are always measured in grams (not with cups or tablespoons, etc) because the measurements need to be very accurate. FYI, these little cuties are Gluten-Free!! But far from vegan, and a vegan version would be rather impossible, since the cookie part is made from Italian Meringue. Now I will brief you on the basics (like Italian Meringue vs. French Meringue) before I hand over the recipe.

Even though this is a French cookie, the best ones are made with Italian Meringue, not French (not even the French use French). In several recipe books, the latter is said to be much easier. Pim, however, disagrees and I stand by her statement. Italian Meringue is made with sugar syrup, whereas in French, you add sugar directly to the whipped egg whites, no syrup involved. The sugar syrup needs to be EXACTLY 243 degrees F when added to the egg whites, which is why you get to use a fancy candy thermometer (digital probe ones work best).

Macaron recipe as follows: 

150 g almond flour, sifted

150 g confectioner's sugar, sifted

(whisk together until completely blended).

35 g water

150 g granulated sugar

(for your sugar syrup)

110 g AGED egg whites, divided into 50g and 60g measurements

add 60 g measurement of aged (i'll explain later) egg whites to bowl of a stand mixer, put in balloon whisk and whip whites until pale and foamy. stop now!! dont over beat! 

for the syrup: put granulated sugar and water over medium heat. do NOT stir. when thermometer reads 243F, remove immediately from heat, give the egg whites a quick whip to fluff back up then poor in the syrup at a steady stream when mixer is on medium. turn mixer to high and beat meringue until sides of mixer bowl cools down until just warm to the touch. (if using color- duh!- put in half way through this process so you dont over beat meringue). Meringue should be beaten until forms a soft peak and cools to 120F (thermometer!). 

now pour 50 g egg whites into flour mixture. dont stir yet. add 1/3 of meringue, and with a spatula, stir vigorously until completely blended! add rest of meringue. This part is tricky!!! you've got to incorporate, but do not over mix. scrape the side of the bowl, then fold over mixture and press against side of bowl. Pim says "you are not folding, but massaging." mixture should flow like lava. 

put mixture into pastry bag (ideally fitted with a 5pt pastry tip). Pipe 1.25 inch rounds on 2 parchment-lined baking sheets. then pick up each sheet, and drop it hard onto the counter!! this is scary. but it is to loosen any air bubbles. Let them sit out and dry for 15 to 30 minutes until they are no longer sticky to a light touch. 

Baking: 375F for 15-16 min. sticky a wooden spoon in door of oven to act like a vent. 

let them cool completely before peeling off parchment paper! then the filling, then the sandwich.

Fill with your favorite ganache recipe or a buttercream-jam combo. 

These are my new favorite cookie, which is weird because I'm not really a meringue person. There are SO many different ways to play around with them (this weekend I made basil-buttercream!).

And look what just came out of the oven! Popovers!!! It worked!!!

  

Goodnight.

I need to be somewhere at 10 am tomorrow.

Hey kids,

it's 1 am. I have an appointment at Elixir Salon tomorrow morning at 10 am with the wonderful and talented KC Lutes. I am not even close to tired. and I am one of those "bloggers" now so, here we are.

My "Pastry Chef Kitchen" isn't quite done yet, so I've been doing research and some experimenting in my own kitchen. For some reason this week, my other job (I'm one of those multiple-job people now too) has been busy, so I am feeling the weight of pastry-pressure all over my body. Time for a massage, really, but I have no time (more importantly no justification for spending that kind of dough, pun intended).

There is a stack of baking books about two feet high on my coffee table, plus a couple sprinkled throughout my apartment, and even one in my car that I would be reading right now if it were not so far away. Lots to look at. I have a few plans for the weekend though (meaning Saturday):

Popovers (savory?)
Peanut Butter - Banana sugarless cookies (for weird healthy people)
Fruit Tart  / Galette (all butter?)
Herb-Infused Upside-Down Cake
Savory Scones
Custard? or Creme Anglaise?  

Obviously, all of this won't happen. What will happen is I will sleep WAY too late on Saturday, and feel weird for the rest of the day. This happens pretty much every week.

Since no one reads this blog, I am about to admit something. I am turning into quite the pastry snob (really hard to believe, I know). I went into my usual spot for coffee one morning, and decided that, since I am a Pastry Chef now, I should try tons of interesting pastries and compare and all that. So I bought a savory scone (not vegan) from my coffee spot. This place is pretty snobby; they have awesome coffee and these said pastries are rumored to be pretty fantastic.

Umm, not so much. Granted, I haven't had a non-vegan scone in quite some time, and the texture was certainly there. But the entire scone tasted like egg. There must have been too much egg-wash that dripped to the bottom because the underbelly was too close to burnt. And too salty. The salt wouldn't have bothered me so much if it hadn't just tasted like eating an egg shaped like a scone.
SNOB. Yea, I know. But it's my profession now, okay? It's out of necessity, and it feels awesome.

And since we are all here, I'd like to discuss a few things: first, I clearly am not a very good vegan. I actually feel awful about it, have shed some serious tears, but I am taking these steps toward a future that I actually want, and crave, and look forward to. All those creatures out there are suffering so that one day I may be able to have real "Pythagorean Pastries". Second, with that in mind, this is clearly no longer a vegan baking blog, so sorry about that. Third, next time I promise I will leave some recipes here for the rest of the world. Right now, this is ranting and snobbery. It happens.

Still not tired, but I need to quit while I'm ahead. 

FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!

I LOVE FOOD!

Baking and pastry making is up there with my favorite pass-times. In case you haven't noticed. I've been doing lots of research and experimenting lately, so I thought I'd write a mini-blog.
Today I made Madeleines for the first time:  by hand. Lesson? Huge mistake. These little shell-babies are the definition of fragile, and I most definitely over-worked the batter. And now my biceps are hella massive. Actually just my whisking arm. Thankfully, I know a non-vegan out there who will eat just about anything, even eff-ed up Madeleines. For a first attempt at this French masterpiece, they weren't that bad.
I have been reading a baking book called Baking with Julia, filled with recipes of bakers and pastry chefs who worked with Julia Child. The book is AWESOME, some of the stuff is very complicated and absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to master EVERYTHING. Kind of an over-achiever.

I also made Peach-Blackberry Upside-Down cake (vegan!!) ------------------>
This was crazy fun! and CRAZY MESSY! It totally exploded all over my oven, which then had to self-clean before I could bake anything more. But it was delicious.

Last night, for a dinner, I made chocolate cake with coffee ganache (supposed to be 2 layered, but it slipped off... don't know what happened) and a sugarless, flourless, berry tart. The crust was made with walnuts, almonds, Earthbalance and dates! delish! and the berry part was strawberries and blackberries, lemon juice, cornstarch, and date sugar. and it worked!! NO SUGAR.

And along with the Madeleines today, I made savory muffins with sweet potato, yam, red onion, spicy, rosemary, and pumpkin seeds. oh and feta cheese... hella not vegan. hella good.

<------ And I just made eggplant borekas. Some vegan out there calls them "Jewish hot pockets." I resent this.

Tomorrow:  fauxnana bread (vegan banana bread without sugar)

This blog is terribly jumbled... I've had a weird day. Sorry about that.
Look how cute my kitty is!
Now I'm off.

and she's back in the game! Gluten-Free Challenge

hellooooooo internet!

We've been estranged for months now, but we kissed and made up. Wooohooo! Get ready for some serious..."blogging."

As the four of you have heard, my "followers", I actually am a pastry chef now. Chef Lauren. no biggie. There is a new place opening on Grand Avenue in Oakland and I am their sole pastry chef. ME! I don't know how or why this has happened, but it is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's probably better than sliced bread. (unless I make the bread and slice it my self. that's pretty delicious.)

So many many blogs will be in the haps since I have some serious researching ahead of me. Let me catch you up to speed on a few things that have been through my oven since I've been avoiding my darling internet:

A request was made for vegan & gluten-free pastries. I have never made gluten-free pastries. FUN! The request was as follows: 1 strawberry-rhubarb pie, 1 apple-pie, & cupcakes (with which I could do as I please).
If you don't know, pie is my favorite thing to make. Why, you ask? Because it takes every bit of your concentration (pie dough is sensitive). Like math. Also, just in case you don't know, GLUTEN keeps fragile, sensitive things stuck together. So now we have a fragile, fussy pie dough that decides, at any and all moments, not to stick together. WHAT?! It was frustrating to say the least. Here are the results
<-------------

The gluten-free flour mixture I used is a secret, but no matter what you use as your mixture, you must add 1/2-3/4 tsp xanthan gum per 2 cups of flour. Why? Because it is supposed to help it stick together. Why? Because gluten makes the world go round, and with these pies, it stopped spinning. Xanthan gum is crazy expensive, and if you are frequently baking gluten free stuff, you will go through it like water.

The filling for the strawberry-rhubarb I kind of made up:
Equal parts quartered strawberries & cubed rhubarb, 1/3 c brown sugar, 1/3 c white granulated sugar, 2 tbsp gluten free flour, 1 tsp cornstarch. let sit all together for 10 minutes to soften.

Also made these gluten-free marble cupcakes (much easier than pie dough), later topped with a simple, thick chocolate ganache:

This recipe is from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World,
I did NOT use their gluten free cupcake recipe, I actually just used their marble cupcake recipe and used substituted my own flour mixture (because its better).
I've made Ganache a few times, and I love the way it tastes. I hate frosting, so eating something that's kind of drippy and real chocolatey is awesome. I have also found that making ganache with real butter ( I know this is a vegan baking blog, but as a pastry chef I had to bend the rules a little bit) and it was WAY better than the one I made with Earth Balance. Not because of the taste, but because of the texture. EarthBalance created an oily, kind of lumpy liquid (for some reason it separated). Real butter created a super smooth sauce, it was awesome. And also a huge bummer that dairy products can be helpful when baking. So for this vegan pastry request, I simmered 1/4 c almond milk, and added a shit-ton of semi-sweet chocolate chunks, and stirred. refrigerated. and dolloped onto the center of those cupcakes. pretty damn good!

But to get away from this gluten-free madness, one night I didn't want to make dinner, so I took some inspiration from www.101cookbooks.com (AWESOME recipes) and made a savory vegetable whole-wheat muffin with the rest of my vegetables.

Leek
Sweet Potato
Zucchini
Green Bell Pepper
Rosemary
Thyme
Whole-Wheat muffins.

Some vegan I know came over and ate 3 in 15 minutes. He says he likes "contained food", and these are "food muffins." As opposed to non-food muffins, of course. The doughy part is just whole-wheat flour (about 2 cups for a dozen), 4 teaspoons baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt, & 2 "eggs" (I used 2 tbsp ground flax seeds to 6 tbsp water, whipped together until gelatinous in food processor or I use my coffee grinder). Roast all the veggies with spices at 400 degrees, mix with 1/2 cup (or more) almond milk & flax seed mixture and sift in dry stuff. bake for 20 ish minutes. Yum!

I still have many pastries to write about (borekas, peach-blackberry upside down cake, peanutbutter and jelly sugarless cookies), but I will wait. Now go bake stuff!

no-sugar-no-enriched-flour challenge

There is a vegan out there for whom I frequently provide baked goods. It's extremely entertaining because he is constantly undergoing torturous dietary changes, which means I am bombarded with new baking challenges. It's awesome, mostly because it gives me an excuse to bake all too often.

The most recent diet frowns upon white flours and sugars (no refined sugars, no honey, no maple syrup, no rice syrup, no syrupy things of any kind) except agave nectar. This is coming from a human being who is mildly obsessed with these black current scones (AWESOME):

I am pretty proud of these scones. For awhile my oven had resentments against my baking obsession and decided to ruin a lot of treats, but these prevailed. These are fun because you have to keep the butter (note when I say butter, I mean "butter") super cold then use a pastry cutter in the flour to create crumbs. The butter / flour mixture looks like flour covered peas, that way when the pieces of fat melt, you have flaky, delicious scones! 

Back to the challenge: 

I do not trust agave. I think it's bullshit and probably horrible for you. HOWEVER, I will never turn down an opportunity to make up recipes. So... 

I found in my "no-sugar-no-white-flour-agave-vegan-cookie" recipe search that basically NOTHING good actually exists. So I combined stuff to make a "cookie" that tastes as good as humanly possible for something so contrary to the goodness of my usual goods. The healthy-vegan-boy (who has been off  sugar now for 3 weeks) thinks these cookies are awesome. But you can't really trust someone who has been deprived of sugar for so long. Recipe is as follows: 

2/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon agave
1/3 cup coconut oil (I used this for the flavor, you have to melt it, which is totally disgusting. You can probably use extra-light olive oil but it won't have the same flavor. Maybe add a couple teaspoons coconut extract if using olive oil)
2 tbsp almond milk
1 tbsp ground flax seeds
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 mashed banana
1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup cocoa powder (unsweetened)
generous 1/4 tsp salt
1 cup rolled oats
lots of shredded coconut (maybe close to 3/4 cup)
close to 3/4 cup carob chips

preheat oven to 325 degrees. in a large bowl, whisk agave, oil, banana, almond milk, flax seeds, and vanilla. sift in flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt to form soft dough (don't over mix). fold in oats, coconut, and chips.
drop tablespoons of dough on parchment paper and flatten slightly. bake for 10 mins and let cool.

I must say, these are actually pretty good. It definitely took some experimenting to discover a combination I felt was acceptable enough to impart to someone. Now I am sharing it with you. 

I have also been on a mad streak with this Flourless Chocolate Tart: 

This was the second one I ever made for a friend's birthday party. The original recipe is from The Vegan Table, same author as The Joy of Vegan Baking (my fav). This one, due to dietary restrictions, was actually made using unsweetened %100 cocoa chocolate and added honey (a shit-ton) instead of refined sugars. The crust is the best part: walnuts, pecans, butter, honey. That's it. Awesome. But you have to be a chocolate lover.



 I am happy to say that, as of today, I GOT A NEW OVEN! So many more delicious treats are soon-to-be conquered.
One word: bagels.
and sourdough bread.
and cake, I just got the urge for cake.
and lavender-tea cookies, maybe in the form of a layered shortbread.
banana bread?

out-of-control...
and as always, sleeping Bertie: